CEO/Ph.D.

I was at a bar the other night playing pub trivia when suddenly I realized that my glass was empty.  So, of course I do the natural thing and order another pitcher.  While I was standing at the bar a man taps me on the shoulder and starts speaking gibberish (no I am not calling Korean gibberish).  It was his Drunki-do dialect.  I tapped the Korean woman on the other side of me just to confirm.  Now, she spoke great English, but even if she had not said anything I would have been able to guess from her scowl that he was not the reincarnation of Sir Galahad.  He is the pure knight right... 잠깐 만요 (please wait a moment)... Wiki wiki wiki... correct.

Normally, I would be polite, I would play a little game of charades, smile a lot, and then shake his hand and say "it was nice to meet you."  However, this guy was out of control.  I could not tell if he wanted to talk to me, hit me, or stick his tongue through my head like in Alien.  So I paid for my pitcher and retreated back to the table where my friends were sitting in peaceful ignorance.

Round 2: Great!  Fact or Crap questions.  Not only do 50/50 questions defeat the point of pub trivia, but the way half of the questions were worded both answers were technically correct.  This was one of the questions, "Americans spent 7.3 billion dollars on plastic surgery last year. Fact or Crap?"  Well that number is not that surprising.  I have been to LA and read a playboy before, FACT.  The announcer comes back to the mic, "That is actually CRAP, Americans spent 13.5 billion dollars on plastic surgery."  Wait, am I mistaken or did people have to spend 7.3 billion before they spent 13.5 billion?  See what I mean?  Dumb category, dumber questions!

....ANYWAY, back to the main topic.  In the middle of one of her coin flip questions, the guy.... Let's call him Bob... goes up to the woman announcer and hugs her.  (Side note: she has just announced, not 5 minutes earlier, that it is the anniversary of her marriage to her husband who is standing 4 feet away.)  The bartenders run up and grab him.  Yes, this guy has clearly had too much to drink, be a responsible server, ask him to leave.  OR you can sit him back down at the bar and serve him another vodka tonic.  Party on Bob!!!

As the night continues, Bob comes over to our table; yells at us; leaves; gets another drink; spills it all over himself; looks like he peed his pants; walks around the bar harrasing other people; tries to touch the trivia announcer's butt; finally gets asked to leave.  

RELIEF!!!  He can cause no more damage this evening.  He is not with anybody; nobody knows who he is; tomorrow he will have a hangover and not remember any of this.  OR he can reach over our table reach out his hand to my friend's girlfriend, and slide her his card with the grace of Charles Barkley on ice skates.  Yea... THAT'S TURRABBBLEEE!  We look at the card.  It reads "Park 'Bob' - CEO/Ph.D."  I wonder if he wants an English tutor?