American Gladiators Consulting

To the Producers of American Gladiators,

As a loyal fan of the first run of this show I just wanted to say, the new show needs some work. You have lost sight of why people actually watch this show. You seem to think that I care if the contestant is a father of twins or really loves his mother. Now, I'm not ridiculing the contestants for loving their family, I am only trying to point out that the strength of the show lies in the events not the stories. Tell your contestants to stop crying and regurgitating rehearsed, one liner, trash talk, and bring the emphasis back to "Excellent hit[s]" and incredible feats of athleticism.

I tune in to see Wolf pile drive a contestant 10 feet on the Pyramid, or watch Crush treat a contestant like she is an old school bozo the clown punch toy. I'm not on the side of the gladiators, but it doesn't bother me if the gladiators mutilate unworthy contestants. I don't even remember the contestants names, I just remember the way they compete.

This brings me to the events.

Assault: This event is great, and when the contestant hits the target and the gladiator goes flying into a pool, genius!!!

Joust: Classic and been around from the beginning for two reasons. The gladiators beat on bad contestants, and good contestants make this event one of the most exciting on the show.

Hit and Run: Who came up with this event? This event is awful. Big clumsy medicine balls that the contestants can DUCK under. Who came up with the idea to design the bridge to be two feet lower than the medicine balls lowest points? If a contestant wanted to get some easy points they only have to monkey crawl back and forth across the bridge.

The Gauntlet: It frustrates me that the contestants only do horizontal jukes and don't go vertical, but that is a strategy issue not a problem with the event.

The Wall: Am I mistaken or was the old wall harder to climb? This gave the gladiators more of a chance to catch up to the contestant and also made it more impressive when the contestant made it to the top.

Earthquake: Taking the conquer portion of breakthrough and conquer and suspending it in mid air is not a bad idea. But I loved the breakthrough portion because one of the most amazing American Gladiators moments happened in this event when Kyler Storm flipped over Turbo.

The Pyramid: The pyramid is real fun to watch because so far this is where the biggest hits occur. People get thrown 10-15 feet down the pyramid regularly, SWEET.

Power Ball: Despite the 2 blown out knees in 4 weeks, this event has to stay. It has been a staple of American Gladiators from the beginning. My only suggestion is that there should be a rule that you can't take basketball shots. The point of this event is to dominate or be dominated not to show us your best Kobe impersonation.

The Eliminator: RIDICULOUS!!!! No Gladiators at all in the final event of AMERICAN GLADIATORS? I didn't watch these contestants compete against gladiators for 45 minutes for them to just run an obstacle course for the last 15. This show is not about the contestants competing against each other. Its about proving themselves against roided out actor bodybuilders. At the end of this season when the winners are declared do want their last obstacle to be a foam wall, or the gladiators? I vote gladiators.

In short I choose the reruns of the old American Gladiators on ESPN Classic weekdays at 4PM PT.

Here are some links to my favorite American Gladiators Clips.

Malibu's Interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGDwScgb_Y0

Kyler Storm Flip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un1O6ZaZdJc

Turbo Punches Kyler:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lul2VsRg26U