Rollercoaster

Leading up to this next chapter of my life I wasn't nervous.   I was firm in my decision and nothing could deter me from moving forward with my plan to move to Korea.  Its like the feeling you get when you first step into a line for a rollercoaster.  Then comes the week before I leave.

I pass the 30 minute marker, and the line divides into 3 sections, front, middle and back.  The ride is getting closer.  I am getting a little anxious.  Is this feeling excitement or fear?  Actually, I don't think I'm feeling anything.  How could this be?  I make a comment about how it would be sweet if the group had a fast pass to skip the line.  But in reality the line is a buffer, and I stay in the states an extra day to be home for my birthday.  

You choose your seat.  Do I want an aisle or a window seat?  Its hard to get up when you take the window, but the aisle is like a gauntlet of passengers and carts.  Screw it, I'll go with the middle seat, hedge my bets, and go with that extra sense of comfort knowing I will not get the whiplash in the back or the initial scare from the front.  Everything becomes a bit more real.  I really am going to do this.  Goodbye Logan.

Then, I was in San Francisco again.  I see a few people decide they don't want to ride the rollercoaster.  They step right through the ride to the exit on the other side.  There will be no picture of them screaming on turn 8.  Maybe that is the safer more conservative route.  But for me I still desire the thrill.  Boarding, taxi-ing, turning onto the runway.  My buckle is secure and my seat is in the upright and locked position.  We launch, this is it, the build up, I have no choice, did I just all of a sudden regret my decision?

No, the plane takes off.  I drop.  The wind blowing through my hair.  I feel free.  I don't know where the next turn will take me.  All I do is smile and enjoy the ride.  

Well, maybe not the 23 hour flight...